Cockerell Ranch

The first house that brings back any large amount of memories is the Cockerell house in Eagleville. The Cockerell's were the big ranchers in Surprise Valley. There were 3 brothers who owned land from one side of the valley to the other. At this point my dad needed work and was willing to work for ol' Bob Cockerell as a ranch hand in exchange for living in this little house they had on the property. At the ripe old age of 5 Bob and Judy's house looked like a mansion to me. Especially in contrast to our little 'hired hand' house across the driveway from them. Just looking from our little porch over to the going's on at the big white house felt like peering in on things that were much too grand for my little mind to handle. I always tried to imagine what it looked like inside of that house and what kinds of things might be going on inside. It seemed like such a mystery; the life of this 'famed' rancher and his wife. I don't know that I ever did set foot inside that big old two-story house...but my imagination sure did.

Of course in reality Bob and Judy were just the very busy owners of a large ranch with workers under them, cows to brand, bummer lambs to feed, fences to fix and runaway animals to track down. And we, my brother and I, were just the little kids of their latest ranch hand. But that sure didn't stop us from feeling important and adventurous! We spent our days getting out of the house as much as we possibly could and exploring as far as our mom would let us go.

Behind our house was a field that we were allowed to roam pretty freely in. In our minds it seemed so far from home and we were so independent! In truth, Mom could easily see our every move from the back window in the house. We would play with rocks which seemed to be in abundance back there. Once we attempted to build a fort out of rocks. We roughed out a circle on the ground and stacked rocks as long as we could. After a long time we stood back to assess our progress. Amazing! We had a 'fort' that was already about 6 inches high! Only a few more days and we would be hiding inside and fighting the 'enemy' from the safety of our rock castle with openings atop for bows and arrows. With pride in our hearts we headed for home a job well begun and a rumbling in our bellys. We never did finish that fort, though.

Another great adventure we had was discovering a snake pit. Yes, a real snake pit. There were a lot of garter snakes around that area and we children enjoyed playing with them. (Ewww) A garter snake is dark in color with a yellow stripe down it's back. Completely harmless and great fun for scaring adults! I will never forget when we came across their home. One snake became a hundred as they slithered and twisted over eachother intertwined in the opening of the hole like medusa's wig, having fallen off her head. It was a little disconcerting to say the least...but quite intriguing as well. A friend of ours took one of the snakes into the house to try and tease my mom. When he brought out the snake it struck the bed where she was sitting and sunk it's teeth into the comforter. That snake would not let go! And I didn't even know they had teeth!!!

One spring day there was a lot of commotion going on at the ranch. Lot's of people showing up and cows being moved around. Josh and I decided we wanted to see what all the action was about so we walked over to the corall which seemed to be housing most of the noise and climbed up the wooden slat fence. With our little heads just barely skimming the highest rung we got as comfortable as we could and set in to figure out this latest novelty. As we watched, a couple of the ranchers grabbed a half grown calf and tied his feet. Then another man pulled a long piece of metal out of a red hot fire and held it over the calf's hindquarters. Before we knew it he plunged the funny shaped end of the red hot metal down onto the calfs reddish hide and the calf just mooed and mooed. He held it for what seemed like forever and then they untied the calf and let him go. The calf, happy to be free from that torturous episode ran off a fast as his four legs would let him as the ranchers gathered up the next one.
Josh and I were floored. We just couldn't understand why anyone would do such a thing to poor innocent animals. We began to to yell out to the men, 'what are you doing? stop! don't hurt those cows!' with tears streaming down our faces.
My memory fades at this point. I don't know if Mom came and got us or if we could bear no more and went home to tell her about the miserable fate of those poor cows. I know that the ranchers never heard us, or if they did they didn't say a word. It was noisy business branding cows...they never looked our way once.

The Bicycle Incident

AKA "Scarface"

One event that occured at the Cockerell ranch has a space all it's own in my mind. For whatever reason it has always stayed with me as if it had happened yesterday and not when I was just five. I had learned to ride a two-wheeler and felt very excited to take advantage of my new-found freedom. The driveway to our house was an extended one that connected right onto the county road. The end of the driveway certainly seemed a long way off to any red-blooded 5-year-old and I wanted to share the opportunity of this experience with my little brother, Josh. He climbed onto the back of my bike as I eagerly planted my feet on the pedals and we were off.

The driveway was at somewhat of an incline which had appealed immediately to two small children looking for adventure. We deducted quite quickly that once the chore of pedaling up the driveway was complete we could go back down 'super' fast!

After reaching the 'top' I maneuvered the bike around and we began to cruise down the 'hill'. Ahhh, the freedom. The wind in our faces, the exhilaration of being able to move this fast by my own competence. What an amazing feeling, I am in charge!

And then I wasn't. The handle bars began to wobble and I lost control of the front tire. The blacktop was coming up fast. I hoped Josh was going to be okay as my head hit the asphalt and everything went black.

Only a few seconds later I picked myself up, my head spinning, to find Josh had fallen face first onto the unforgiving surface of the road. I can imagine we were making some noise at this point, although the memory is completely without sound. As if time and sound waves stood still. Mom had come out to help and comfort, like all good mom's do. It seems like Dad was there too, I'm not sure. All I could think was how horrible I felt that I had allowed my little brother to get hurt. His little face was all scraped up. Everytime I looked at him after that I felt guilt and shame that I had done such a thing to my sweet little brother who had no control over that bike.

Dad started calling him scarface because of the scrapes and bruises he had. I don't know how bad it really was but in the eyes of a young child it sure seemed intense.

I have always felt quite responsible for my siblings, but especially Josh. Maybe this was the start of that desire to make sure he doesn't get hurt if there is anything within my power to do about it.

Earliest Memories (2-4)

Me at 2 or 3



I think my very earliest memory is of a ride at Disneyland that was very scary to
me. I now know it to be called Space Mountain. At 16 I rode on it again and it still was a bit scary but at 2 or 3 just the sound of it was so terrifying I wouldn’t even go in. Mom tells me that they (Mom and Dad) had to take turns going on the ride because I refused. I have a recollection of them stuffing little pieces of tissue paper in my ears because the screeching sounds were so frightening.

My second earliest memory was of the cake that mom made for me for my 3rd birthday. It had my name written in M&M’s and was decorated with this gel frosting. I remember being so excited to be able to take a bite of that cake. I knew that it was going to be so delicious because it looked so wonderful. I was so proud that my name was on that cake and it was made with me in mind.
One more very early memory is of Grandma Terry and her vitamin organizer. I loved vitamin E capsules. Whenever she opened the refrigerator I wanted one. (she must’ve kept them in the fridge.) I have a distinct feeling of anticipation of that cold vitamin E capsule straight from the refrigerator. (I still love them by the way)

During my early years we lived in Hawthorne, California. I have no memory of our house or much else during this time but I do have one memory that actually stems from Mom’s pregnancy with Josh. Of course my view is something entirely different. We were visiting her midwife, Tanya, and her daughter was there at the office with her new doll. This doll was amazing; she ate food, brushed her teeth, combed her own hair and came with all the accessories to do so. She also came with little packets that you could mix with water and it looked like baby food that, like I said, she could really eat! As a little 2-1/2 year old I experienced my first case of covetousness. I really, really wanted a doll like that!!

After this time we made our big move to Surprise Valley from Hawthorne. I don’t remember the details of the move or even the move itself but once we were settled into our lovely home on Cedar Pass Summerland, a lot of my memories are clear. I do remember our home, partly from photos and partly from my mind. It was spacious and bright. Josh and I had a play area that was so big (to me anyway) and had lots of shelves to put our toys on and even a chalk board Mom set up to draw on. I have a very vivid memory of playing there with my ‘little people’ and wooden blocks that I used to make houses and furniture for them. I also had a lovely pink trimmed cradle for my dolls, that I thought was so beautiful and perfect. And my special favorite was a stuffed Winnie the Pooh bear. I guess it makes sense that my distinct memories would be of toys since that’s what I was focused on at the time.

It was while we lived here that I remember getting a doll that helped make up for the fact that I never got the amazing, "do everything" doll I had seen in Hawthorne. (a Mother’s nightmare I’m sure, can you imagine all the "food" going in and getting stuck inside that doll?) This doll could drink a bottle and then when she wet her diaper she would get a diaper rash. When the diaper rash appeared you could wipe her with this special solution that made it all better. Plus she had her own little diaper and wiping cloth! I thought that she was really great.

Our time on Cedar Pass seems to me that it was idyllic and sweet. Mom took lots of walks with us on the forest roads. There was a pond nearby with frogs that we sometimes got to look at. Everything was so beautiful and peaceful. One time in the winter the VW bug broke down on our way home. Luckily we had made it off the main road and over the bridge but we had to walk the rest of the way home. We had just been to the store for groceries and Mom had bought ice cream. Since the snow was piled up everywhere (and her hands were freezing!) Mom put the ice cream in a snowdrift to get later when she came back with Dad to fix the car. It felt so exciting to think of that ice cream hiding in the snow like a buried treasure! The anticipation was even tastier than the ice cream, since I clearly remember that but who knows what flavor it was!

There were several neighbors in the area. Mom was always very friendly and eager to share her new-found love of Jesus and His power in her life. I remember one incident where a man who lived in the area had been in a bad skiing accident and had damaged his knee irreparably. She was visiting and asked if she could pray for it. When she put her hand on his knee and prayed he said it felt like hot Ben Gay had been poured into his knee. He was shocked and amazed. Later the doctors confirmed that his knee was completely healed! To me the power of God was never in question. I was always surprised if he didn’t do something amazing rather than the other way around!

Grandma Lupe's House

My Grandma Lupe with me (somewhere in that bundle)


I distinctly remember the few visits we had to Grandma Lupe’s house in Arizona. Once we went to see her when she didn’t know that we were coming. Dad and Mom stopped at a payphone right in Lake Havasu to call and tell them that we were on our way and in only 15 minutes there we were on her front doorstep. As a child I thought that was such a wonderful surprise for them. I think the neat thing is that they agreed. No matter that they weren’t prepared, we were there and that was enough. We could always go shopping later. And that’s how it seemed to be with Grandma, family was family and kids were kids. I felt a lot of freedom at her house. Maybe that’s also why her house is imprinted on my memory in a way most other houses could never be; hers was fully explored and taken advantage of. Every nook and cranny was available for play and enjoyment. I specifically remember the closet in Elaine’s room. That was the guest room since Elaine had long since married and had children of her own. That closet was a child’s dream. Not only did it have a real door but it also had a light inside. We spent what seemed to have been hours playing in the closet. No matter the shoes and boxes and bags we came across. They were easily pushed back further into the recesses of the closet out of our way. For now the closet was our secret hide-out. Our special place that for that moment, belonged only to us.
It was in this closet that Josh’s nose started to bleed one day. And it seemed for that whole day it never stopped. I was scared seeing all that bright red blood spiraling down the sink as he stood in the bathroom willing it to stop. Of course the first and most pressing question was always, "Did you pick it or did it just start on it’s own?" However embarrassing, the truth must be known and Mom always got to the bottom of that one. After a humble admission to the former we set in to try to get the bleeding to stop. Josh had already had several bloody noses recently and when it was clear that the bleeding would not be stopping any time soon other possible causes were brought up. He had been eating a lot of sugar lately, that would have to stop. And probably not getting enough sleep. Also the weather, as usual, was hot and dry and certainly counted for something! Meanwhile Joshua waited with his head over the sink hoping for the bleeding to stop so he could get back to playing in that wonderful closet!
I can still hear the knocking sound of the white shuttered saloon-style doors leading into one side of Grandma’s kitchen. They were right beside the fridge. That wonderful big refrigerator that was chock-full of foods we often didn’t eat at home. Not just one but 2 whole gallons of milk lined the inside of the door. As well as juice and lots of it.
The very favorite meal at Grandma’s was breakfast, when we had our choice of the many boxes of store-bought cereal in Grandma’s lower cupboard. The cupboard wasn’t tall enough to accommodate the boxes standing upright so they were all on their sides and we would slide each one out one by one while determining which kind we would partake of this day. I think that was my first experience with rice crispies and the discovery that they really did pop in milk and it wasn’t some advertising gimmick. It was my favorite because at Grandma’s we were also allowed a generous spoon-full of white sugar sprinkled over our cereal in the morning. We took full advantage of that perk!
Grandma’s table was a dark faux wood grain that was surrounded by avocado green plastic chairs. When we sat at the table sometimes Shoo-shoo would scramble under our feet tickling us with his mat of hair. He was like a dirty mop with legs and pointy sharp teeth. That dog was Grandpa Dutch’s baby and I can still remember how he smelled, a mixture of dog and love because he smelled like Grandma’s house.
For some reason the microwave really stands out in my memory. Probably because it was a novelty to us kids at that time. We had not had a microwave and I think we liked being able to push the buttons to heat up our food. It was fun to be able to watch Grandma and Mom cook in the kitchen from the safety of the dining room through the cut away counter top. The kitchen was small so when cooking was going on there was no way to be in there but I would watch through the opening. I still remember how the water smelled. It had to be treated rather heavily before entering the houses in Lake Havasu and it had a special smell, probably chlorine, but to me it smelled like Grandma’s house.
In Grandma's living room there was a dark coffee table with glass squares set into the wood. She kept a centerpiece of glass grape clusters on that table. I loved those glass grapes. They were big, almost like golf ball size and they made a lovely sound when moved. I bet we weren't supposed to play with them but I distinctly remember how they felt and the satisfying sound of them rubbing together when rearranged.
I also remember Grandma's electric organ. It had it's own perfect spot right next to the sliding glass door that kept out the sweltering heat. There was a special display shelf above the organ. Once when I was older, probably the last visit I had to Grandma's house, I was astonished to find little handmade salt dough ornaments. Painted figures of Mary, Baby Jesus and Joseph; all lovingly arranged and preserved. Of course I recognized these right away having made several of them myself many years before. (or so it seemed at the ripe old age of 15) It was so amazing to me that Grandma had kept them and displayed them all this time.

There was once when a very spectacular thing happened to us at Grandma's. I think I was about 8 or so. It must've been an extended stay because I remember tuning in to the cartoon channel everyday with Josh and Sarah at a certain time. It was long enough to find out about a special event where you could send in a drawing and they would choose one everyday to show on TV and you would get a prize. I remember sitting with Josh (and probably Sarah) and drawing, perfecting, surveying our work and drawing some more. I drew a picture of wonder woman in all her 'get up'. We sent in our drawings and watched breathlessly each day to see if they would appear on TV. One day, wonder of wonders, the goofy guy on the show announced a drawing done by Autumn Rivas!! He held up MY drawing, colored in with felt tip markers, in all of it's glory, and congratulated me on the prize I had won. A few weeks later after we had arrived back home a small box arrived from the address we had sent the drawings. We eagerly ripped open the packaging and low and behold it was filled to the brim with the biggest assortment of candy any of us had ever seen! Suddenly that small box took on bigger proportions as we stared in wonder at this treasure before us. The thing that strikes me now as I write this is how I looked at this as 'our' endeavor. I just happened to be the one who's picture was on the show but the candy belonged to all of us. What a glorious feeling!