My Wedding Part I

The day was sunny but not too hot, especially for August. I was thankful for that. It was so exciting having all of us gathered there in Sophie’s living room, fixing our hair, adjusting our dresses and admiring each other. Dad came in to put the garter on so I could get pictures for my photo album. I realized that I felt sort of shy of him in a different kind of way. I guess cause he was getting ready to give me away and that felt somehow like I was really a woman and he was a man. Like he was an ‘equal’. That was certainly a new dimension to our relationship and I felt awkward.

As we were all putting the finishing touches on our presentation there was a big wind that whipped in from out of nowhere. It rocked the branches of the big poplars out front and stirred up the dust on the road between Sophie’s house and the cute little white church. It picked up twigs and tumble weeds and threw them all around. As I looked out the window in my perfectly coifed hair and smoothed white wedding dress I felt a little concerned. How was I going to get from here to the church without getting all messed up? So we prayed. We asked God that on my wedding day he would lift the wind away and let me walk in peace to my destination: The beginning of the rest of my life.

We continued our girl talk, arranging bobby pins, giggling, reminiscing and I gave gifts to my bridesmaids; My sisters and my friends. I had known them all for years and couldn’t bear to have any one of them left out of this most momentous of days. Some had, at times, felt a small sadness at losing me to Doug and others were happy in their own new marriages and ready to help me celebrate mine. My sisters were excited and sweet in their purple calico dresses that we had made just the week before. I had tried to pick something inexpensive but pretty, not wanting anyone to have to pay too much to be a part of my wedding party. It was truly a country look…but I thought it was pretty and practical too

Everyone was ready, now all we had to do was wait for our ‘cue’. Soon Bob arrived. He had the adorable flower girls in tow as well as little Gabriel, the ring bearer. He was the cutest little boy in his purple calico vest and ‘bearing’ that little lacey pillow with all the pride he could muster. He took all of his ‘duties’ very seriously and I knew he would do great. Little Gabey.

This meant it was time to get going. This was ‘it’ the true moment had arrived.

There were two awarenesses going on inside of me at that moment. There was the dutiful, goal oriented, let’s do this side of me. Yes, it is now time to go and I hope the wind doesn’t mess me all up, and I hope I can walk straight and not fall down…The practical side. And then there was another side. Inside, it was all so serious. I was really going to get married today. All the planning, sewing, waiting, praying, fighting, crying, hoping, loving…today it was culminating in this simple act of walking out the front door of my dear teacher’s house. Even that was surreal. This was my high school teacher, my art teacher, that was me. The me I knew. The artist. The one who gets good grades. Who lives at home with all the Rivas’. The oldest. The babysitter. Doug’s girlfriend. Things I was familiar with. Things I knew how to do. But today, today, I was to become wife. Wife. Something I had looked forward to for some time now, yet just as my awkwardness with my dad, there was something unsteady about this new venture. So many unknowns. What did it REALLy mean to be “wife”. And was I really ready? I mean is one ever really ready to begin a new life that one has never experienced before?

I stepped out the door. Ahead of me was my entourage of young ladies all dressed in purple calico. (smile) My beautiful sisters. My faithful friends. “Here we go.”
And then, the wind died. It became still and the trees stopped swaying. The dresses ahead of me weren’t rumpling. All was quiet. My hand was on my dad’s arm. I took a deep breath...Yes. I am ready. Let’s go.

In the Moment

I've been thinking about things that I suppose someday I might not remember. It's funny how at a certain point everything happening around you is so 'everyday'. It's not worth recording because it's going on and its now so why would it ever slip your mind or why would you want to remember, ya know? And then a few years pass and you realize there were some pretty special times meshed in with all that normality. Then even more time passes and things change and you realize some of those moments were almost sacred.

I suppose thats exactly what life is. All of life. It's special. It's sacred. And that's exactly how it' meant to be lived, each day. Meandering in and out of moments of pure duty and moments of hushed emotion that can only be expressed deep within one's heart.

For those of us mom's with kids over the age of, let's say 3, what have you already looked back at and sighed to yourself at the bittersweetness of it's passing. Snuggling with a newborn baby and just sitting there staring into their face while they sleep peacefully in your arms. Just one moment or two within a day of: feeding, changing, sleeping, crying (you and the baby), before you start the process all over again. Do you remember thinking sometimes that you couldn't wait till they started talking? Or became more independent so you could have a little eensy break? Ha! Now you know what I mean, if you didn't already.

Here's to just remind myself and anyone listening to take some time to listen for and recognize the sacred within each day. To stop in that moment and remember that one day you will look back on that time with fondness and even sometimes a sense of loss for it's simplicity. But don't stop there, don't begin to miss that moment before you've even begun to live it. Stay in the present and soak up every bit of what it is that makes you alive right then. Feel every bit of emotion that wells up within you and know that it is at these times when we are truly alive and present we are touching eternity. We are touching the heart of God. And do not fear he loves to give us many opportunities to do so again.